Sometimes maintaining this blog seems like an exercise in futility.
It’s easy to get cynical and think about all the hours I spend cooking and washing dishes and staring until I’m crosseyed at each and every photo…..for what? I’ll be blunt and say it certainly isn’t for the money.
I’ve been thinking a lot of lofty thoughts lately like for example, is this what I should be doing with my life? And more importantly, what choice do I have? I’ll be honest and say that most of the time I feel like a fraud, using this blog as a cover for what I really am: a housewife. The past few months have been filled with sick children and financial burdens and outside commitments that has been leaving me to choose between filling this space with new posts or fulfilling my role as mother and wife and overall general caretaker to the world (okay, maybe not that, but sometimes it feels that way). How does one choose between doing what you love and taking care of the people you love? I’ve been thinking maybe it’s all too much. Maybe it’s time to take a step back. I’ve also been recognizing that I hate to talk about my feelings…. so right now I kinda want to barf. It’s weird, it’s fine.
Yesterday as I was stationed in my usual spot—between sink, stove, and radio—I was listening to Michael Krasny interview Christine Carter about her new book, The Sweet Spot. Sometimes life just drops bombs people, bombs. She starts talking about how you have to find work that makes you hum and not in the singing dwarf kind of way but like, I don’t know, a Lamborghini. It dawned on me that this is why I write this blog! Not for the money or comments or likes or thumbs-up emojis, but for the way that I feel when I’m in the kitchen, or behind the camera, or one of those rare days when I’m writing and the words just fly. I’m in the zone baby and never feel more alive or happier.
So! Here I am, walking that tight rope between throwing in the towel and giving it another go, because as long as I’m alive I will create; it’s the alchemy that keeps my heart from growing cold, it’s what I do.
While we’re on the subject of what I’ve been doing, let’s talk for a second or two about crispy, fried corn tortillas stuffed with garlicky mashed potatoes. I’m not going to pretend these are anything fancier than what they seem but they are most definitely comfort food at its best. The guajillo salsa is not spicy at all, guajillos are a very mild, slightly sweet chile and they should be easy to find. Use generously on everything from these tacos to chicken flautas. I stirred a batch of leftover salsa into a pot of beans this week which is a move I can’t say I regret.
If you want you can thinly slice romaine hearts and sprinkle some queso fresco or cotija cheese over the top. Alternatively if you wanted to make a quick slaw with thinly sliced cabbage, cilantro leaves, and thin slices of red onion that would be good here too. Just toss the vegetables with some fresh squeezed lime juice, a little oil, and some salt and your good to go.